Sunday 15 April 2012

Job Application

Dear Sir/Madam,

I write to you to apply for my dream position of cricket DJ at Adelaide Oval. It is my belief that your current DJ, while he does a presentable job shouting "Hey-oo" and playing the Addams Family Theme to gee up the crowd, is not fufilling his full fun potential (or FFP) for One Day International and Twenty20 matches. In fact, it is my belief that an intelligent DJ interacting with the match as it happens would render these artifical means of exciting the crowd, along with the ever-tiresome being told that "you're the best fans EVER", completely obselete.

I addition to my demostrated cricket knowledge (witness my astonishingly accurate predictions as to the results of the World Twenty20 qualifier in the UAE this year), I own my own aviator sunglasses and tape deck, and have a passable knowledge of 70's and 80's pop-rock.